Childhood terrors

I’m a big Alice in Wonderland fan. I found the text funny and whimsical, and the Disney film wasn’t too bad, either.

Valerie, however, is adamant that Alice in Wonderland is (one of) the Most Terrifying Works of Fiction Ever to be Unleashed on the World. So terrifying that she can’t articulate it without dissolving into a flailing mass of arms, so she says that I should quote this bit from (the ever awesome) TV Tropes:

‘This troper would like to say that he found the entire concept scary as hell: getting stuck in a strange realm wherein one cannot communicate logic or reason or follow any sort of consistent rules to escape (since the rules change all the time), especially if the said realm is ruled by a deranged tyrant obsessed with beheading people and is impossibly quick to anger… with no hope of getting help from the denizens of the realm and no prayer of finding a way out, is this troper’s nightmare. As this troper basically feeds on logic, he finds it extremely nightmarish. The fact that it’s All Just A Dream is further scary because the troper now believes Wonderland is a manifestation of the collective unconscious and is thus accessible to everyone.’

Now, I personally think they’re both mad, but logic and I aren’t the best of friends. Established logic, anyway. Once Valerie and I were heating milk and it (possibly) curdled. ‘Is it okay to eat?’ said Valerie. ‘I don’t know,’ said I. ‘Actually. It’s probably fine. Little Miss Muffet ate curds and whey and she didn’t die. At least. It’s not part of the song. And if she died it was probably because the spider bit her.’

(Disclaimer: we were fine, but it won’t mean you will be. Cooking isn’t my forte. I don’t even know if it was curdled or… something else. Please don’t eat things because I said I did and it was fine. I try bits from LUSH Cosmetics things, for crying out loud. —Whattheylookgood.)


I think she’s rather strange for it, but apparently she’s not the only one. I hope you don’t agree with her because every time someone agrees with her, I’m faced with ‘I TOLD YOU SO!’ I’ve tried to tip the scales in my favour, which is why I’ve polluted this post with multiple whimsical Alice-themed pictures.

Not Alice-themed, but I haven’t shared an outfit in eons and the guilt is consuming me. You’ve no idea. I’ve a litany of excuses but you don’t want to hear them, so…! Picture time! Only one photo, though, because it’s been far too hot to prance around outside.


Apologies for my tendency to wander out of frame. I don’t think I have the ability to sit still when Valerie takes photos. In this photo, I’m wearing the usual suspects: a cherry Puff the Magic Dragon cardigan, a pink Adorable Wafer Girl cami, and the red heels with their little DIY bow. I need to replace those heels, actually, so if anyone sees a pair of red suede heels (4″, with or without platform) with a rounded toe, give me a shout.

The shorts, which I haven’t posted before, are the Gorgeous Geisha shorts from Spring/Summer 07. They’re actually my only pair of shorts, and I use them quite often in summer, so I should really get more.

I’m also clutching a wallet from the last Alannah Hill season — it’s called ‘All the Pretty Girls’ and I can fit my entire life into it, which is awesome. (Entire life involves money and iPod Touch, by the way, because I live on the internet and an iPod Touch is the best and slimmest internet-receiving device for wallets. No phone. I carry that. But I check my email more than I check my phone.)

Here’s a more detailed shot. You can see the belt I was wearing, too — Little Picket Fences in red:

I wore this outfit on my birthday (quite a while ago now!), when Valerie and I went to Newtown for breakfast, wandering and visits to Enmore’s Cow and Moon artisan gelato and general deliciousness place. It was hot but the gelato was amazing. Try the panna cotta flavour. And the papaya one. And the lime. It tastes like… lime. It actually does. I can’t describe how amazingly freshly lime it tastes. Dear god.

And their baked ricotta cheesecake is the only cheesecake I’m happy to eat.

Oh, I really want cheesecake now. AAAUGH. THE CRAVINGS. And all I have is a bottle of freshly squeezed watermelon juice, which, while all levels of awesome, isn’t ricotta cheesecake. How sad.

Valerie also bought herself this fun watch with an interchangeable silicon strap. You’ll find them at Monster Threads. Fun shop. Good shop. Go look.


I have no Newtown spoils to share, but I will leave you with another shot and another story.

At about 9.00 in the morning, my chat alert beeps and I see ‘come over nao?’ pop up on my screen. Fifteen minutes later, Valerie comes into my room and we discuss great and important issues, like what to have for breakfast and do we feel like doing anything today and by the way there are three tables sitting outside your front door; are they new and should we bring them inside? (My parents are forever collecting things. One of Valerie’s favourite pastimes involves spotting the new finds.)

On my birthday, I walked into the kitchen to find Valerie acting rather suspicious. ‘DON’T LOOK!’ said she, and I complied. I closed my eyes, backed out of the kitchen and promptly collided with the piano in the living room — and the piano is a solid wood 19th century monster of an instrument, by the by, so the collision was painful.

‘Do you have a permanent marker?’ she called from the kitchen. I gave her one, eyes firmly shut. ‘Thank you! DON’T LOOK!’

And then the sound of match-head striking matchbox, and a triumphant call: ‘You can come see now.’


‘Tis a happy egg, inspired  by Valerie’s favourite internet song, and the one internet song that baffles me more than anything else: ‘I Love Egg‘. It has… well. Eggs. Dancing. And. Turning into things. And.

It’s really just very baffling.

And the fact that I find it absurd?

That’s saying a lot.


2 Comments to “Childhood terrors”

  1. LMAO – man I love your blog.

    Sweet blog you have 🙂
    Looking forward to seeing your Word pic 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: